Back to school: Expert shares some ways parents can help kids beat bullying
MILWAUKEE -- Kids are back in school, which means reuniting with old friends, making new ones and unfortunately, occasionally a bully. Of course every parent wants to protect their kids from becoming a victim, and our child development expert, Jessica Lahner with Carroll University joins Real Milwaukee to help us do that.
While there is no such thing as 'bully-proofing' our children, there are steps we can take to
1) Strengthen their resiliency to any bullying they may experience, and
2) Decrease their risk of being a target
Increasing kids' resiliency:
1. Cultivate strong, trusting relationships with them: More likely that kids will open up to us and tell us they are being bullied so we can help intervene
2. Use your own power over your children compassionately. We teach our kids about power differentials in relationships by how we treat them and how they see us treating others.
3. Teach assertive communication:Praise kids for asserting their needs with us - then they will do so with others (including bullies). Do not punish for asking.
4. Teach self-compassion:Being kind, understanding of oneself when faced with hardship, failure (vs. self-critical).
5. Teach kids about real friendships:Especially important for kids who struggle with reading social cues - mistake the attention from bullies as friendship and tolerate it.
Decrease child's likelihood of being targeted
Actively encourage friendships:
1. Kids who are connected to other kids at school kids get bullied less frequently.
2. Having at least one ally/friend can alleviate feelings of loneliness, being singled out
3. Helps build social skills - kids who are awkward in social situations are more vulnerable
Teach kids what to do if they witness bullying
1. Intervene: studies show that peer intervention stops bullying about half the time
2. Intervening helps kids gain social status, less likely to be victims themselves
Teach Kindness
1. Study demonstrates that kids who are kind enjoy a popularity boost (9-11 yr olds)
2. Increased popularity reduces risk of being bullied