San Francisco columnist kicks off Super Bowl trash talk

SAN FRANCISCO — A San Francisco columnist has taken the first swing at the metaphorical city-bashing pinata, writing a “beginner’s introduction to Kansas City” for 49er fans.

The column, written by Scott Ostler of The San Francisco Chronicle, is titled, “The 49ers guide to Kansas City, the Soccer Capital of America.”

Ostler wrote it as a partial comparison between Kansas City and The Golden City. He gives cheeky descriptions of Kansas City points of pride, like barbecue, fountains and the Royals.

“BBQ is the only food available in Kansas City,” Ostler wrote. “So yes, culinary preferences are determined by how you like to mix your ketchup and sugar.”

Ostler wrote Kansas City is owned by famed San Francisco Giants pitcher Madison Bumgarner, who shutout the Royals in Game 6 of the 2014 World Series. In case you need a reminder, Kansas City won the World Series the very next year.

He said the Great Flood of 1951 that devastated the stockyards helped to make the city “smell better for a few days.”

Ostler wrote that Kansas City is a leading exporter of sports teams. The Kansas City A’s left for Oakland, and the Kansas City Kings left for Sacramento.

And he joked that Kansas City’s many fountains are best used for washing barbecue off of your hands.

Interestingly, he didn’t try to find a flaw in the Chiefs, other than to say they’ve only won the Super Bowl once in the last 50 years. But he had no qualms about poking fun at KC’s barbecue. Maybe that’s because the two cities aren’t competing in a barbecue contest anytime soon.